This is a helpful list comprised of things that will make your mouth a foul smelling pit, you probably shouldn’t consume them during the day, that is if you don’t mind wearing a hazmat suit.
5 – Dried Fruit
This one might surprise you. Even though it is one of the healthier options in the list, Dried Fruits still do lead to bad breath and that is due to how it is made. Granted there are many different ways to dry fruit, the predominant, however, being using sugar. Sugar in on itself promotes fermentation and when it touches your tongue it not only starts the process of digestion, but it also kicks the bacteria in your tongue into high gear. The product of that collaboration is a stare of disgust and confusion as to how can your breath stink so badly.
A way to remedy that is to drink a lot of water. Bacteria love humidity and they thrive best when conditions are stale, one way to fix that is if you drank more water early in the morning and during the day in general. Not only will you be well hydrated, but your mouth will seem like a much more appealing destination for your better half’s lips.
4 – Red Meat and Fish
These meats might look delicious, but they are a dirty bomb waiting to go off in your mouth. They are preferred by bodybuilders and athletes in general and this is not a coincidence. The meat has quick-to-digest protein which help maintains muscle growth. However, good that protein might be for you, it is not as good for your breath. Bacteria love protein and anything with protein in them so it is no surprise that your breath smells after consuming one of these. Saliva is the first thing to touch the food you consume that is in order to prepare it for further molecular digestion. Alas that first contact unleashes a swarm of bad-breath-creating enzymes which in terms spark a birthing frenzy amongst different types of bacteria which then are the cause of said bad breath .
Natural digestion leads to natural decomposition and we all know that smells. This is not to say that there aren’t ways to battle the effects of these natural processes. Equally good for you and better for your breath is parsley. Any salad or side dish containing parsley you consume while also eating these meats, will make things a lot more pleasant for you and everyone around you. That really goes for any green veggie that you can find, but I’ve found parsley to be the most effective at it. Now, I won’t bore you with the science behind it because this is an entertainment blog. Scamper on now, give it a go if you want, see if it works for you.
3 – Alcohol
I think we all knew that this one was coming. Alcohol is by far one of the most recognizable smells , apart from paint thinner and gasoline. Regardless of what your drink of choice is, anyone can recognize that you have some alcohol in you. I can’t really blame you, I like to go out with the girls and have a drink or two from time to time, but what was a fun night out turns into a bad morning with a hangover and the breath of an Alaska sailor. “But I like drinking in moderate amounts” you say – well I have a solution for you. As it turns out, some alcohols have less of an effect on your breath (an after-smell if you will), and me being a busy bee I found some who fit the description.
Vodka seems to be the best candidate. It smells the least, however, don’t buy the cheap stuff, some of it might burn off the hairs out in your nose. Buy quality vodka, if you are in a fun mood, you can mix it with different juices to make a cute drink like this delicious looking vodka strawberry lemonade. It is a good alternative because not only will you get your drink on, but you’ll have ways to experiment with different fruits and juices without feeling self-conscious about your breath. Lemon works really well too. Mind you there are other drinks that you can have which posses the least amount of bad-breath material like gin&tonic and peppermint schnapps.
2 – Kombucha, Sauerkraut and Kimchi
Many health freaks and yoga instructors claim that Kombucha has medicinal properties, and while that is up to debate in the scientific community, no one can deny that after you’ve had a glass of it, your breath will reek. Yeast and variable bacteria cultures are used to ferment fruits and some sorts of tea. The fermenting process can take up to several months, but once it is ready it may be one of the most pungent smells your olfactory receptors have felt. The yeast and the necessary bacteria are the reasons your breath smells after drinking it so don’t you be sipping on that sweet sweet kombucha before going out or it won’t go so well.
Sauerkraut originated in Germany as the name would suggest. It generally consists of finely sliced cabbage, often combined with carrots and beets. This is then fermented with various lactic acid bacteria due to which it has a long shelf life. It has a very distinctive sour smell and taste and it goes really well with sandwiches and a cold beer. The bacteria is, again, responsible for the bad odor emitting from your mouth, it further ferments the cabbage and all the small food particles on your tongue and teeth.
Kimchi is a Korean fermented dish that also uses different bacteria cultures in order to treat the ingredients that can differ from vegetables, rarely meat, and spices. The traditional side-dish is sometimes left underground to ferment for as much as 3 months, that depending on what it’s comprised of. The taste, as far as I could tell, was something between spicy and sour, again, depending on how it is prepared.
The keen observer might have found a link between these three – all use bacteria and yeast as means of treating their individual ingredients. You could look at your tongue as a mouth carpet that gets dirty as it is being used, the bacteria is the catalyst which makes everything smell 10 times worse because it is eating all the leftovers and it is the excrements that smell. If you want to be accepted back into society after eating any of these, you either brush that dirty tongue or you simply don’t eat them.
1 – Onions, Garlic and Horse Radish
And in first place are the no-brainers. These three have plagued humanity’s’ dating world for such a long time. The onion and garlic are one of the earliest veggies that we cultivated. We all know that they stink and that we should avoid them even if we crave a cream-onion soup in a crispy bread bowl with a sprinkle of mozzarella. These root veggies have what smarter than me people call “Mercaptans” which are basically natures’ way of telling you not to eat them. Too bad for them we are a misogynistic species that likes spicy food.
Granted garlic, onions and horse radish are good for your health, but what isn’t good for you is social isolation due to bad mouth odor. A way to remedy it in general is baking soda in a warm glass of water every morning. It removes the bad bacteria from your tongue and what is left of them between the gums. A good tooth brush helps too.
Let me know in the comment section bellow what other bad breath remedies you’ve heard off and if I get enough original ones I might feature them in my other article about bad breath.
Until next time, Thanks for reading!
See also: The Healthy Habits of The Stars